Whether you love her or love to hate her, there’s no denying that Kristen Stewart has made a name for herself in Hollywood. She’s come a long way from playing playing Bella Swan in Twilight as, last year, se was nominated for an Oscar for her performance in Spencer. Still, she herself has seemingly remained unchanged by her elevated star status. The actress, known for her social eccentricities, has now opened up about attending public events and how it feels having all those cameras on her.

While speaking with Vulture about her character and involvement in Crimes of the Future and how wild and extrospective the film is, Kristen Stewart touched on how she deals with her fame when attending public events. Apparently, she’s of two minds when it comes to how she must act in those settings, saying:

I’m always torn between wanting to be such an exhibitionist — being out there and open and showing everything about myself — and being protective. To think that you’re misinterpreted is super-narcissistic anyway because everyone is just having their own experience with what you’re putting out there. But I just have a physical aversion that I can’t actually control.

In the past, the actress has made headlines for coming off as awkward or even unfriendly at massive events. Thanks to photographs, she came off as the unsmiling star, though this could be due to the fact that fame was a frightening concept for her. It seems that this apparent misinterpretation of her character could have partially stemmed from the “physical aversion” she has to having so much attention on her.

In the same interview, Kristen Stewart went on to say that she could be having a wonderful time at an event and appear to be miserable or combative to the outside world. For an example, she recalled having her picture taken at the PGAs, where she had a “knee-jerk physical reaction”  and looked angry in a photo. Here it is in her own words:

I was at the PGAs, and I was having a great time. Steven Spielberg was behind me! It was a room full of people that I was just like — I was like a kid in a candy store. And then this guy with a camera went like this — [mimics camera in face]. Which is completely normal. I’m an actor, and I’m at an awards show. It’s fine. And my body literally went like this — [raises both middle fingers sarcastically]. I couldn’t understand. I was like, Kristen … But it wasn’t like I was angry that he took my picture. It was just a weird, knee-jerk physical reaction to being looked at in a moment where I wasn’t expecting it.

I’ve got to say that I am a victim of RBF, and I would definitely be one of those people who would appear angry in a photo. Luckily, Kristen Stewart’s less-than-ideal dealings with photographers and such has not kept her from becoming quite the force to be reckoned with in Hollywood.

Her latest film is Crimes of the Future, one of 2022’s most “unique” new movie releases. It’s a a far cry from Spencer, as it’s a sci-fi horror film so off-putting that festivalgoers actually walked out due to its grotesque scenes. Despite that occurring at the Cannes Film Festival, the star was apparently pretty happy with the experience. She seems to be at a great point in her career, and is even supposed to be making her directorial debut sometime soon with The Chronology of Water

Kristen Stewart may still be a little unsure about how to present herself at public events and is still uncomfortable around too many cameras. However, the only camera that really matters is the one that she acts in front of or directs behind, and it seems as though she’s great where that is concerned. You’ll be able to check out her out in Crimes of the Future when it opens in theaters on June 3rd.

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