They’re hot, they’re dumb and they’re about to become your new obsession.

They’re the sexy singles of Netflix’s Too Hot to Handle, an eight-episode reality dating competition with a hands-free twist: For every sexual act committed between players — and that ranges from a peck on the lips to the whole shebang — a corresponding amount of money is subtracted from the group’s $100,000 jackpot. And because why not, the whole experiment is overseen by a sassy Alexa-esque robot named Lana. It’s basically Love Island meets 1984. What could possibly go wrong?

Actually, let’s discuss Lana a bit more. While the employment of a faceless host-bot may seem a tad ridiculous, Lana is not to be underestimated. She sees all, she knows all and her suspenseful delivery practically guarantees her an Emmy nomination for Outstanding Reality TV Host. (Watch your back, RuPaul.) As one contestant accurately muses, “You never know what God — or Lana — have in store.”

And Lana’s hands-off initiative is just the first of many twists thrown at these self-proclaimed “hot, horny serial swipers” during their eventful stay at “the Retreat.” The name of the game is to develop non-physical relationships and demonstrate personal growth, but some of these lovable scamps are more interested in a different type of growth. (And if you think the show doesn’t make that pun whenever possible, prepare to be sorely mistaken.)

It also doesn’t hurt that every single contestant — from the Vancouver-based Instagram model to the Florida sorority girl who giggles and shrugs when asked what language her back tattoo is written in — feels like they were lovingly handcrafted in a reality TV workshop. Though they hail from every corner of the planet, they all come equipped with relatively similar factory settings. And what some models lack in brains, they make up for in abs. Best of all, you don’t even have to pull their strings to make them say things like, “Her morals are none!” or “The eyes always go to the boobs, but my face is pretty good too, I think.” That’s just how they communicate with one another.

If it makes you feel any better about yourself, you can treat Too Hot to Handle like a sociological investigation. (Can these international hotties resist their primal impulses and learn to speak a common dialect… of love?) But you really shouldn’t have to rationalize your binges of choice. Not in this climate.

Here’s the deal: If you found yourself hooked on either of Netflix’s recent reality hits, The Circle and Love Is Blind, you’ll probably get a kick out of this naughtier endeavor — an oddly relevant guilty pleasure in the age of social distancing.

Hit PLAY on the trailer below for a closer look at Too Hot to Handle, then drop a comment with your thoughts below: Will you be checking it out when it drops on Friday? (It’s OK, we won’t tell anyone.)

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