Book review of Rules for Ghosting by Shelly Jay Shore

Shelly Jay Shore’s tenderhearted debut, Rules for Ghosting, is equal parts ghost story, Jewish family epic and achingly sweet queer love story. With great care placed on each of these components, Shore has gifted readers with a haunting tale full of grief, joy and desire. 

From the time that Ezra Friedman was young, he was able to see dead people. This wouldn’t be a problem for some, but growing up in a funeral home made it all a bit more complicated. From his grandfather’s ghost giving him judgmental glares when Ezra transitioned, to the never-ending influx of spectral strangers that appeared while families grieved, there seemed to be no escape. It only made sense that when it came time to choose a profession of his own, Ezra ran to the opposite end of the life cycle and became a doula. But when his dream job falls through and his mom runs away with the rabbi’s wife, Ezra finds himself right back at the family business, trying to pick up the pieces. This time, however, a very cute volunteer usher named Jonathan seems to be making eyes at Ezra. Things in that area seem promising—until Jonathan’s deceased husband, Ben, starts showing up. Can Ezra hold his family together, save the business and keep his heart from breaking into pieces? Only time will tell. 

Rules for Ghosting is for romance readers who like their stories with an undercurrent of sadness; think Anita Kelly or Ashley Poston. Ezra and Jonathan are both actively grieving: Ezra the loss of a job and his parents’ marriage, while Jonathan is only a year out from the loss of Ben. Both try to put one foot in front of the other while finding happiness in everyday joys like queer family dinner and sloppy kisses from Ezra’s pitbull. These small moments of humor and brevity bring lightness to a book that otherwise deals with many of life’s difficult trials. Shore takes her time with the central love story, choosing to focus at first on building out Ezra’s friend group and setting up his chaotic family dynamic. It’s nearly halfway through the book before Ezra and Jonathan do more than cast flirty glances at each other or have a passing conversation. But worry not: Shore more than makes up for that restraint in the second half of the book.

A gentle love story with a beautiful, queer, Jewish relationship at its center, Rules for Ghosting will make you laugh and make you cry, maybe even at the same time.