The mere idea of even getting on a cruise gives me the heebie jeebies. So, just think of all of the anxiety I get when watching the Palme d’Or-winning Triangle of Sadness, available with a Netflix subscription, which is about everything that could go wrong on a cruise, going wrong.
I’m going to let you in on a little secret. I can’t swim. Now, this isn’t inherently bad, but it also means that I’m not in any hurry to acquire my sea legs. Seriously, when I watch documentaries like Trainwreck: Poop Cruise, I just can’t. I can’t! Sadness is labeled as a satirical black comedy and was up for Best Picture in 2023 (it lost to Everything Everywhere All At Once), but I view it as pure horror.
Oh, and spoilers up ahead.
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The Idea Of Things Going Horribly Awry In The Middle Of The Ocean Is One Of My Greatest Fears
Not too long ago, there was a Hantavirus outbreak on a cruise ship, and can I tell you that even today, the mere idea of it makes my hair stand up on my arms. Being stuck at sea with no escape is my absolute nightmare, and that’s the scenario we get in Triangle of Sadness.
The main characters are two models named Carl and Yaya, played by Harris Dickinson and the late Charlbi Dean, respectively. The title actually refers to the wrinkle between the eyes that models sometimes employ to make themselves look serious. Yaya is an influencer and receives an invitation onto a mega yacht in order to build engagement with her followers, and Carl is brought along for the ride as they’re viewed as an online couple. All goes well as they spend time with socialites…until it doesn’t.
The food goes bad, a terrible storm occurs, everybody starts puking and crapping everywhere, and then, there are PIRATES! I mean, it goes from bad to worse, to, oh, God, I can’t take this anymore! And then, we get to Act III…
Being Stuck With Absolute Strangers With No Escape Is An Absolute Nightmare Of Mine
Once the yacht sinks from the pirate attack, there are a few survivors left, with many of them being the crew members who had been below deck the whole time. Well, these few survivors find themselves trapped on an island together, where all roles flip, as the rich need the lower class to survive, and the lower class get the upper hand.
It’s all played for laughs, but I can’t help but feel uncomfortable at the prospect of one person taking complete control when rules and laws get thrown out the porthole. It’s terrifying!
Plus, The Idea Of One Singular Person Taking Control On A Seemingly Deserted Island Is The Worst Thing I Could Possibly Imagine
Which leads to the last reason why this “satirical black comedy” terrifies me like the best horror movies: A single person systematically takes over the entire island, and pretty much everybody has to do her bidding…even if it means giving her sexual favors. Dolly de Leon was nominated for scores of awards for her portrayal as Abigail, who was somebody who worked below deck, but is now the only person with actual survival skills, and thus, the automatic leader.
While she doesn’t rule with an iron fist, the fact that everybody depends upon her just leads her to take absolute control of the island, which would make me feel claustrophobic since I like being self-sufficient.
That said, between that, being stuck on a boat, and then trapped with strangers – all of this and more is why this satirical black comedy scares the living daylights out of me.
